Smutketeers

Featuring some of the most fabulous authors paving the way for this new and exciting genre!

Zoe Archer
Meljean Brook
Gail Carriger
Sarah A. Hoyt
Katie MacAlister
Dru Pagliassotti

This workshop will take place at the Romance Diva Forum. All are welcome. To get access to the forum you will need to register, but it’s all free! It’s the best place for writers on the Internet-if you write, you must join!

Stay tuned at Smutketeers for more book news, book release celebrations and giveaways coming soon!

The fabulous Jax Cassidy is here today to talk about her latest book, BRUSH STROKES, available now from Amber Quill Press! This is a hot, sensual read, so we’re happy to help her pimp it. Jax is a dear friend of the Smutketeers-a pint-sized power-house who writes, paints, designs websites and is never afraid to tell it like it is. She’s also the co-founder of Romance Divas, the award-winning writer’s resource website and discussion forum where the Smutketeers all met. If we didn’t love her anyway, we’d love her just for that! She’s also a hot little vixen, so be sure to check out her website to see for yourself!

Jax is running a contest today, too, so read her interview and check for details at the end!

~Welcome to the Smutketeers, Jax! We’ve missed you! We know you’ve been busy, busy, busy, and are here to tell us about your latest release, BRUSH STROKES, so give us a little peek…

I’m totally excited to be here! In more ways than one. ;) I’m even wearing my favorite leopard print D&G lingerie for just this occasion.

Can I just say how thrilled I am that BRUSH STROKES found a good home? I wrote this story a little over a year ago and it’s possibly one of my favorites ever. It’s a piece that just flowed as soon as the idea popped into my head. I could see the entire passionate love story between these two characters, down to the little details. I’m all for love at first sight so I hope there’s a believability factor. :)

Don’t be shocked but I’m not actively involved in an alternative lifestyle, although it was very titillating to delve into the research. It actually all started sometime in July 2008 when I received a book called NAUGHTY PARIS: A Ladies Guide to the Sexy City by the author Heather Stimmler-Hall. Let me tell you, it’s such a wonderful, refreshing guidebook for women and showcases all the sensual places that can be found in Paris. Of course, since I had previously lived in the City of Light, it was interesting to discover all the things I missed out on. One of the sections featured an elusive underground sex club and I immediately fell in love with the images on the pages, and swirling in my head.

You can find a brief excerpt of BRUSH STROKES on my website www.jaxcassidy.com

~We writers tend to get attached to certain stories, and sometimes to a scene or a line. Is there one in BRUSH STROKES you’re particularly in love with?

Gosh, I’m kind of a dork when it comes to the hero and heroine finally getting things right in their relationship. I’m not going to give anything away, so you’re going to have to purchase the eBook to find out for yourself. ;)

~You’re a rockin’ cover artist-did you do the cover for BRUSH STROKES yourself? Tell us where we can see your other cover art.

Awww, thanks Eden.

I would have to say for this cover I knew exactly what I wanted and worked very closely with the cover artist to help me translate my ideas. I’m very pleased with the end result. Thanks, Trace! He’s always fantastic to work with.

As for my own cover work, I have some of samples available on my design site www.jaxadoradesign.com. Yes, it’s long overdue for an update but I’ll get to it after deadlines…

~You write in multiple genres: contemporary, paranormal, urban fantasy…do you have a preferred genre, or does it just depend on the way a story idea hits you?

I enjoy the diversity of genres but the underlying theme is the love connection between the characters. I adore contemporaries and I think I’ll never stop writing them just because they’re so much fun. Somehow there’s always a dark edge to them because my hero/heroines are so tortured. I just don’t know why there’s always the funny bits of dialogue that manages to creep in….perhaps I believe laughter is the best way to hide the pain.

~How integral is romance in your erotic work? Can you write erotic without the romance? Do you have a particular philosophy behind it?

Romance is a ‘must’. I love HEA and personally feel it’s a prerequisite! I’m sure I can write erotic without the romance but I really don’t want to write them unless I have to. Call me old fashioned but I believe the lovemaking aspect describes the importance of the act. Secondly, impact is what I hope to achieve in the love scenes.

Although a total tomboy, I grew up believing in fairytales and finding Prince Charming. I don’t expect anything less. Why should I? Naturally my stories would contain a hint of the fairytales in my head. Erotic romance is an escape and I’m hoping readers will go with it, hopefully seeing that my writing comes from a romantic place in my heart.

~We’ve met your significant other-and adore him, you lucky girl! How does being in love inspire your work?

Writing about love when you’re not in love is like an actor pretending to act. A writer is very much their writing. I don’t think I really knew what the hell I was writing when it came to down to it—it’s all an illusion that you hope your readers won’t notice. However, when I truly fell in love with ‘the one’, everything changed! The moment it happened for me, I found my writing voice. Now the actor who has prepared, trained, and rehearsed is ready for their big moment. Truthfully my writing voice was there all along but I was too preoccupied to see it. All it took was Mr. Right to open my eyes to this truth.

~We writers are a sensitive bunch. Do you have a special writing ritual or habits? Or are you one of those few who can sit down anywhere with your laptop and write?

Don’t hate me, but I’m one of those people who can sit down anywhere and write. I tune everything around me out. However, I can also be easily distracted so I have to really feel the writing to write. I enjoy writing under pressure because my stories are more organic and I seem to be able to produce more while stressed.

~You lived in Paris for several years (we actually didn’t hate you before but we just might have to now! *G*), and we know readers would love to know what that was like. Was the city as romantic as people say it is? What was your favorite thing about living in Paris?

Gosh, it all seems like a dream. I remember EVERYTHING about Paris. It’s truly one of those breathtaking cities where the architecture is unbelievably gorgeous, where fashion reigns, where the food is to die for, and where everything feels— and is so intimate. I would immerse myself in the lifestyle and would often take long walks along the cobblestone paths. I could never get enough of those patisseries, cafes, and shops. It’s like walking in a dream and I think I must have pinched myself every day to make sure I was really there. I often miss Paris and someday I’d like to have a place there again. In fact, I want to catch a plane now!

~How do you think your extensive travels have affected your writing?

Every writer should travel. There’s something magical about visiting familiar and unfamiliar places. It’s a grand adventure and wherever you manage to be, there’s something amazing you can take away from it. I’m a visual person and I absorb the bits and pieces to draw for my readers. I want them to see, taste, and touch what I’ve experienced and writing is a great way to take the person with you on these trips. Travel is enriching and it’s food for your soul. If you never go out into the great unknown, you’re missing out on all the beauty that this world has to offer.

~Name three of your favorite movies of all time:

You know I’m a huge movie buff…this is a tough one.

I’d have to say Pride & Prejudice, Ever After, and Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.

~Tell us what else we can see from you this year. What are you working on now?

BRUSH STROKES is the first release of 2010 and I don’t have any other releases this year. Although, I have plans on writing a few more short stories that will hopefully come out later in the year, I’ve mainly been focusing on a paranormal series, two contemporary romances, and a YA paranormal series. Crossing my fingers that everything will fall into place and I’ll be back at the Smutketeers to talk about them!

And now for a few rapid-fire questions:

~Boxers or briefs? Boxers
~Cold beer or girly drink with a li’l pink umbrella? Ice cold beer
~Lounging on the beach in Fiji or backpacking in Nepal? Both
~Jeans and a cute T or cocktail dress and heels? Jeans and a cute T and heels :)
~Quickie in the shower or make-out at the movies? Definitely quickie in the shower
~Tattoos or piercing? Tattoos
~Hugs or kisses? Kisses (I’m a tramp)

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CONTEST! Jax is giving away an ARC (author review copy) of BRUSH STROKES! To enter, you’ll have to visit Jax’s website to find out the names of her hero and heroine from her August 2009 release, THE ART OF SENSUALITY (an awesome book, BTW!). Just post your answer here-along with any other comments-by midnight tomorrow night. Then check back to see if you’ve won on Tuesday the 12th!

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Be sure to visit Jax’s website: www.jaxcassidy.com or her blog: www.jaxadora.blogspot.com for writing news and updates, or, if you’re nosy like us, to find out what she’s up to and what she’s thinking!
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Thanks for coming to visit the Smutketeers, Jax! *big smooches* from all four of us! At the same time. And maybe even with a little tongue…

Ooh-I love saying that-lol!
The winner of the wicked and wondrous mind-blowing, scream-inspiring, super-powered orgasm inducing Theraspa Turbo massager is……
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Fallon Hadley!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woohoooooooo! Congrats Fallon! Wishing you many, many orgasms and even a few good back rubs!
To collect your prize, please contact RG: r.g.alexander@hotmail.com
Just send her a note with your snail mail addy and she’ll have the Turbo Beast sent right to your home in a plain brown wrapper.
Thanks to all who participated in our Holiday Sing-Along!
Lots more books, interviews and contests in the New Year, so stick with us! Happy New Year to everyone from the Smutketeers!
All For Smut and Smut For All!

Hey folks-I’m blogging over at JoJo’s Bookcorner today-come on by and visit! You’ll like Jojo’s-she’s got hot eye-candy right at the top for us all to enjoy. And I’m having a contest over there!
Don’t forget about our Smutketeers smutty holiday song contest right here-just see the December 16th Sing Along post to enter!
And be sure to check out my December 17th post, A Little Deviation, for an excerpt of my latest release, WINTER SOLSTICE, Book one in my new Celestial Seductions series, available now from Samhain!

Happy Holidays, everyone!

WINTER SOLSTICE is out today from Samhain! If you like your contemporary erotic romance with a little paranormal twist and a LOT of dirty sex, this is the read for you! And you can get it now at Samhain!
Here’s a little peek…
Love with a beautiful stranger isn’t so strange—if you believe in destiny.
Celestial Seductions, Book 1
Clinical psychologist Destiny Walker considers herself far too logical for any of that “soul mate” nonsense. Even if her beloved, dearly departed Nana insisted she was going to meet hers someday. When a sudden downpour sends her ducking into a psychic reader’s storefront—and the woman confirms everything her grandmother said—doubt begins to sneak into the corners of her mind.
A chance meeting—more like a collision—with Superman look-alike Reece Kellan sets off a sexual chemistry reaction the likes of which she’s never felt. She isn’t prone to falling into bed with strangers, but he does things to her body that leave her breathless…and unsure where her pleasure ends and his begins.
And that’s the part that scares the hell out of her…

Warning: Dirty sex with a stranger, a little anal play, more dirty sex, sex on the kitchen table, more dirty sex (because really, can you ever get enough?) and even love at first sight—shocking!

*****
And here’s an excerpt, but WARNING! This material is not appropriate for work, minors, or anyone with a weak heart!
He used his arm to gather her close, pulling her tight against him. His body was long, strong lines, hard-packed muscle. And his cock was hard again. She arched her hips against his heavy erection, felt it jerk and pulse in return.
“And you call me the randy one. And where on earth did you get the term ‘randy’, anyway?”
“From my Nan.”
“Ah, it’s back to the grandmothers again. It feels totally inappropriate to discuss anyone’s grandmother at the moment.”
“You asked.”
“Sometimes I need to shut up.”
“I know just the trick.”
Reece leaned in and crushed his lips to hers, those lush lips of his, so soft and warm they made her melt inside. The melting turned into a simmering liquid as he thrust his tongue into her mouth. And when he slipped a hand between her legs and found her damp cleft, she went soaking wet.
“I like that you’re always ready for me, darlin’.”
He slipped a few fingers inside her, and her inner walls clenched around them. Using his thumb, he massaged her clit in lazy circles. Pleasure was like lightning in her system, hot and sharp. She was ready to explode almost instantly. But she wanted him with her, inside her, when she came.
Again, he seemed to read her mind.
“Not yet, my darlin’ girl. But I am going to fuck you.”
“Yes!”
“And we’ll have to make it a little dirty because of that grandmother comment.”
She laughed at his wicked grin. And her sex gave an anticipatory squeeze.
Reece grabbed her around the waist and rolled until she was on top of him. He sheathed himself in a condom, then encircled her waist with his hands. Raising her up, he impaled her on his thick shaft.
She groaned with the heat and the size of his hard cock. With the dual sensations of her own pleasure and his. He used his hands to guide her, up, then down again, filling her almost to bursting. Shivers raced through her, up her spine, deep inside her.
“Oh…”
“Not yet,” he commanded, and pulled her up, his cock slipping out of her.
Using his hands again, he held her still while he slid down until his face was beneath her open and aching pussy. Her thighs quivered simply thinking about what he was going to do to her.
Reece used his fingers to spread her pussy lips apart. She’d never felt so open, so exposed. And his fingers on her were too good. If only he’d move them an inch or two higher…
“You’re eager, are you?” he teased, massaging her swollen lips, manipulating them, sliding inward, teasing at the edges of her opening.
She shivered, wanting to come simply from having him look at her this way, being open to him. She let her head fall back, closed her eyes. And almost jumped when his tongue shot out and flicked against her hole. But it was too good, and she surged down, wanting his whole mouth on her.
“Not yet,” he said once more.
He licked again, then shoved his tongue into her.
“God, Reece…”
Her thighs shook as he used his tongue to thrust in and out of her like a small, wet cock. And she swore she could taste the flavor of her own juices.
She angled her hips, wanting his mouth on her aching clit. She found if she concentrated, she could feel the pulsing beat of his cock as if it were her own, heavy between her thighs. Wanting, filling, growing thick with the same aching need that thrummed in her clitoris, throughout her body.
“More.” The demand slipped from her lips.
He laughed, then sat up, picked her up bodily and carried her through the house.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on. “Where are we going?”
“The bedroom isn’t nearly dirty enough. And I did promise you dirty.”
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Get WINTER SOLSTICE now!
And watch for Book two in the Celestial Seductions series, SPRING EQUINOX, available in March, 2010!
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And don’t forget about our December GRAND PRIZE! You can read about it here! Just go to the Smutketeers December 16th post and finish RG’s smutty holiday song to enter! A Grand prize winner will be announced on December 28th!

…from our holiday program to tell you that I’ll be chatting on the Samhain Cafe loop today-Thursday, December 17th from 1-3 PST (that’s 4-6 EST) with authors & friends Jenna Bayley-Burke, RG Alexander, Lilli Feisty, Kirsten Saell, Natasha Moore, Ember Case, Julia Knight, RF Long, Nell Dixon, Kimberly Troutte & others TBA to celebrate the release of my erotic novella, WINTER SOLSTICE, Book One in my new Celestial Seductions series! The official release date is tomorrow, the 18th, but there are rumors that it will actually be for sale tonight on the Samhain site, so be sure to check and be the first to get it! (and BTW, while you’re there, check out THE SOUL JAR by Jennifer Colgan-awesome read!).

If you’re not a member of the Samhain cafe Yahoo loop, you can join any time-there are great author chats and prizes each week! I’ll be giving away an e-book to one lucky winner at today’s chat, so be sure to drop by!
Here’s a little peek at WINTER SOLSTICE:

Love with a beautiful stranger isn’t so strange—if you believe in destiny.

Celestial Seductions, Book 1

Clinical psychologist Destiny Walker considers herself far too logical for any of that “soul mate” nonsense. Even if her beloved, dearly departed Nana insisted she was going to meet hers someday. When a sudden downpour sends her ducking into a psychic reader’s storefront—and the woman confirms everything her grandmother said—doubt begins to sneak into the corners of her mind.

A chance meeting—more like a collision—with Superman look-alike Reece Kellan sets off a sexual chemistry reaction the likes of which she’s never felt. She isn’t prone to falling into bed with strangers, but he does things to her body that leave her breathless…and unsure where her pleasure ends and his begins.

And that’s the part that scares the hell out of her…

*This book has been previously published and has been revised and expanded from its original release.

Warning: Dirty sex with a stranger, a little anal play, more dirty sex, sex on the kitchen table, more dirty sex (because really, can you ever get enough?) and even love at first sight—shocking!

*****

Come by the chat for excerpts and more!
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And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming, the Smutketeers sing smutty holiday songs for you! Sing back to us and win an awesome prize! Hey-we never did reveal what THE PRIZE is, did we? It’s one of my very favorite things (often sung to the tune of the song from The Sound of Music while using it-trust me, it IS that good!). Yes, it’s the Brookstone TheraSpa Turbo Massager!

This handy, dandy device will give you the orgasm of your life-and I mean mind-blowing, screaming until-your-throat-hurts multiples!

Let me tell you what this lovely machine-induced climax is like: First, do NOT do what I did the first time and hit the Turbo button and notch the power up to ‘3′. Start with it on ‘1′ and skip the Turbo until you’ve learned to take it. I actually sprained my neck doing this. I am dead serious. Explaining my injury to my boss was…interesting. (I lied, of course). So, you have to use the little roller-ball end. There are different textures on each side, but trust me, this is by far the best, whether you’re male or female. (Another warning-do NOT use any of the flat, textured sides on your male partner’s testicles, even if he thinks he wants to try it. My guy asked for it and it turned out to be a huge mistake. He said, and I quote, ‘It’s like being punched in the balls by a baby”. Just not sexy.).

So, lower the gadget between your thighs to your most sensitive spot and just roll it back and forth a little. The first thing that happens is all the blood will drain from your head, so be sure to do this lying down. With your neck well-braced by pillows. Your face may go a bit numb, and you may get the giggles from the fast endorphin release. For me, it’s usually 0-60 in about 1 minute flat, but you can draw it out longer, if you like. Your hands and feet may go numb, but don’t worry about this-just lie back and enjoy-and be prepared to scream. For about 3 minute straight. If you can take it that long, it’s definitely the gift that keeps on giving!

It works pretty much the same way on men, too-including the screaming multiples, which are pretty rare for guys. Again, make sure he’s lying down, and use the roller ball on his most sensitive spot-just a slight rolling motion, and you can try pressing down with it, making the vibration go really deep. I’m sure each of us, male and female, will have a unique special spot, motion and amount of pressure so take some time to find it. Then, be prepared to make some noise! If you have nosy neighbors, live with parents or kids, a gag may be in order. I kid you not. And have a nice hot cup of tea after-my throat is usually sore. Seriously.
Oh-and it’s also a really great massager!

This is an amazing, life-changing prize, so be sure to enter!
The Grand Prize will be given out on December 28th (the day I return from my holiday trip), so you’ll have to check back for the winner’s name-but that also gives you more time to get creative and enter!
Meanwhile, I’ll be giving away a couple of e-books today to a few lucky winners totally at random-lol!

Do you need a hint about the big prize? Eden has one, and she swears by it. I mean, she LOVES it. She’ll write up a description about it, since it’s so good, it needs a warning label. It’s also great at multi-tasking. Okay that’s all you get.

Now, we sing!

(Tune of Winter Wonderland)

Gotta  sing, don’t be shy now

loud and proud, have to try now

Cause it’s time to play, the Smutketeer way,

If you want to win the special prize

Write a verse, fun or dirty

We will all, think it’s purty ;)

A rhyme’s all you need

To finish the deed

And win a gift that’s sure to blow your mind.

If you’ve got some tension that needs easin’, or you want a new year filled with grins

We’ve got just the ticket for this season, so post your verse and let the games begin

Your turn. Just one little verse. Lay it on us. :)

Yep. We’re having another contest. Eden Bradley has a Samhain release coming out on Friday, Winter Solstice, plus, it’s the holidays. You should get presents on the holidays. You’ve all been good…right?

So to celebrate the season of giving, and Eden’s beautiful new Celestial Seductions series, we are having a sing along.

I’ll start us out today, and then tomorrow I’ll start a song that I expect all of you to finish. On Thursday, Eden will give you a sneak peek of her wonderful new release and give out a few prizes then.

A big winner will be chosen from the most prolific and creative of posters, and they will get a stocking full of cheer. No peeking. It’s a surprise.

Now for the singing. Get ready, we’re about to smut up some of our favorite carols.

SMUTKETEERS (to Silver Bells)

Internet sites, all the blog sites, loading ho-liday files

Everyone planning something for Christmas

Being us though, you have to know, we have our unique style

Our own way to spread seasonal cheer

Smutketeers, Smutketeers

We wish you hot sex, for Christmas

Smutketeers, Smutketeers

And lots of love come Christmas Day

You need new clothes, you need new shoes, he needs a-nother tie

And the tiny gifts found in your stockings

Instead of names, pick a new game, gifts you don’t have to buy

That will make you both stand up and cheer.

Smutketeers, Smutketeers

Give him the best gift for Christmas

Smutketeers, Smutketeers

Make sure she comes Christmas Day.

TWELVE DAYS OF SEX TOYS

On the first day of Christmas my lover gave to me

An overflowing bag of batteries.

On the 2nd day of Christmas my lover gave to me

2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 3rd day of Christmas my lover gave to me

3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos, and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 4th day of Christmas my lover gave to me

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 5th day of Christmas my lover gave to me

5 swats from this- http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 6^th day of Christmas my lover gave to me

6 Turbo Massagers

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 7^th day of Christmas my lover gave to me

7 anal ticklers

6 Turbo Massagers

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 8^th day of Christmas my love he gave to me

8 sex swings swinging

7 anal ticklers

Love that massager

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 9^th day of Christmas my lover gave to me

9 clamps for nipples

8 sex swings swinging

7 anal ticklers

Yes! That massager

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 10^th day of Christmas my love he gave to me

10 wands of magic

9 clamps a pinching

8 Sex swings swinging

7 anal ticklers

Need 6 more massagers

5 swats from this! http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 11^th day of Christmas my true love gave to me.

11 berry butt plugs

10 wands of magic

9 clamps a pinching

8 Sex swings swinging

7 anal ticklers

6 Turbo massagers

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries.

On the 12th day of Christmas my lover gave to me,

12 orgasms

11 berry butt plugs

10 wands of magic

9 clamps a pinching

8 Sex swings swinging

7 anal ticklers

6 Turbo massagers

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries.

 Here are the links to the rest of the toys:

http://www.stockroom.com/Bully-Nipple-Clamps-P2887.aspx

http://www.discreet-romance.com/anal-tickler-pink-jelly-adult-sex-toys-16751.html?manufacturers_id=57

 http://www.edenfantasys.com/FUR-HANDCUFFS-PINK/adult-toys-dvds-5888

 http://www.brookstone.com/personal-massagers_theraspa-turbo-body-massagers.html

 http://www.pleasuremenow.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=780

  http://www.pleasuremenow.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2501

 http://www.dildo-superstore.com/Ass-Berries-Butt-Plug.html

 http://www.adamevetoys.com/sp-cyberglass-four-way-g-12047.aspx

And finally…

CHARLIE THE TOE MAN (To Frosty the Snowman-yes, some of us are going to hell lol)

Charlie the Toe Man

Had a fetish for girl’s feet

He would rub and suck, and if he could f***them, his life would be complete.

Charlie the Toe Man

Knew that some thought he was strange

But his friends would say, oh he’s just that way, and we know he’ll never change.

One day while sitting in a shoe store staring dreamy eyed

A girl named Teal, with a perfect heel, agreed to be his bride

Now Charlie’s happy

And his friends cheer his great catch.

His love’s more secure, with each pedicure, now he’s found his perfect match.

Glompity glump glump, glompity glump, glump, look at Charlie go

Glompity glump glump glompity glump glump, sucking on her big toe.

 Okay fellow smut elves, get ready. Tomorrow you’ll have to sing along to win the prize.