on Aug 20th, 2009 
I shared a recent realization with one of my dear friends tonight over pizza. I was reflecting on the fact that in my fourteenth year of agenting, it often seems that life was so much simpler when I worked for someone else. You know, the proverbial “man” (although my last boss in 1996 was also a dear friend. So calling him “the Man” seems not only inaccurate, but unfair.)
I reminisced about life before becoming an entrepreneur. That it had been peaceful to clock out at the end of the day, and not take my work home with me, sleep on it, and eat it for breakfast like some soldier with his MRE’s. I said this by way of explaining how, as both agent and author, I pretty much work seven days a week. Most in either profession tend to do that, so choosing to combine them definitely expanded the work cycle.
Or as my hubby is fond of joking about Sunday afternoons, “The best part of being self-employed is that you can nap on a work day.”
As I talked to my friend, thinking back to life before starting The Knight Agency, I spoke with the sort of wistful yearning one might expect. “Life was so uncomplicated then. Or maybe I was just…young.”
My wise friend replied, “I don’t know. Do you really think anyone ever goes home at night and doesn’t worry about their job?”
Good point, and it gave me pause. Because I have always worried about my work, even when I was employed by someone else. So I made a new point, a more enlightened one: “You know, maybe it had as much to do with the fact that I didn’t have children then. I came home, put on my Nikes and we went for a walk.” More thinking. “And there wasn’t email like now. No Blackberry, no constant connection to the Net.”
I stared into space, torn, halfway drawn to that lost world of simplicity, where there hadn’t been blogging and twitter and e-loops and all that Net energy. Nostalgic for a time when just hubby and I were together, and our nights belonged to us—but then I shook my head and knew exactly how I felt about those days. “They really were simpler times. But I like right now.”
I love the life I lead, as a mother and wife, even when it’s exhausting. I adore being an agent, even on the days of choppy waters, the ones when things don’t go well—and definitely during the open water, free sailing times. As for being an author, I was writing then, I’m writing today, only now I get paid to pen my crazy stories, and people actually read them. Not only that, but they interact with my characters, letting me know that they respond to the world playing out in my head—and on the page.
And I definitely enjoy being part of the digital frontier, the excitement of taking hold of new ideas every day, whether on someone’s blog, or following a retweet, or reading an online newsletter. The trick—and this is all ultimately an answer to “how do you juggle life as an agent, author and mother”—is learning when to step back, decompress and clear your head. It’s an ongoing battle, finding the willpower to turn off the computer and turn to my daughter and say, “Yes, sweetie, I’ll show you that new crochet stitch.” Or to overrule the urge to worry over some niggling business email I just received, one that hit my veins like five alarm chili.
I won’t lie and say that I’m always successful. I find that life in 2009 is more an ongoing war against mental noise than any I’ve ever known. But I’m a girl who loves a challenge. So with each new day I have to prioritize. I make sure that my time isn’t sifting through the Wicked Witch of the West’s mighty hourglass (scared me to death as a child), and do something every day that truly counts, whether in the family column, the agent column, or the authorial one. And hopefully, if I’m really at my best, I can make positive contributions to each of those columns, not to mention score extra points in the categories of health/wellness, friends/social, and especially spirituality.
As an agent and author, I would say that “time sucks” are my biggest enemy, with the Net scoring highest for potential damage. That’s why this past weekend I tweeted something like, “Hellmouth is to Buffy what Twitter is to writer.” We can dance along the edge of time’s wasteful abyss, but we sure as Buffy better not get sucked all the way in.
After all, look what happened to Sunnydale.
In the end, it’s so easy to get nostalgic about the past, but then we forget the glories that the digital age brings—new friends, new books, new opportunities. In the end, my “geographical” location out in cyberspace suits me perfectly. I just have to remember that my deepest roots are in the real world, with my family, friends and soul.
Well, and with my characters, but that’s a valid “real world”, at least for my readers…and for me. Balance, my friends. It’s all about the high wire.
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I kinda love anyone who’ll reference a Joss Whedon show.
Thanks for coming to visit, Deidre!
by Crystal Jordan August 20th, 2009 at 6:37 am[...] Come visit! [...]
by Crystal Jordan :: Blog » Blog Archive » Deidre Knight on Smutketeers! August 20th, 2009 at 6:49 amThank you for this. Sometimes I get nostalgic for the “good old days” when I didn’t have to think about sales, reviews, and a million social networks.
by Jennifer Leeland August 20th, 2009 at 7:40 amThen, I remember how much I wanted this “career” thing. I like now better too. I’d rather fight the mental noise.
Great post!!!!
Thanks, ladies! I’m glad the post resonated with you, Jennifer. It’s definitely easy to get nostalgic for the “simpler” times, but at the same time, like I said in the article, I love the energy of now. I also can’t wait to see where publishing will go in the next decade.
I LOVE the design of this blog. Wicked cool! Deidre
by Deidre Knight August 20th, 2009 at 8:15 amCrocodesigns did the site for us after we got together for a steampunk photoshoot. She did such a great job for us!
by Crystal Jordan August 20th, 2009 at 8:32 amWhere did you go for the shoot? I love it!
by Deidre Knight August 20th, 2009 at 8:35 amWe stole an old couch from Feisty’s garage, drove out into the Nevada desert behind her house, plunked down the sofa, and poof! Insta-photoshoot-set!
We’re planning to redo the photos at RT next year. In fact, I think there’s a Smutketeers steampunk party in the works. I blame Eden…she’s a bad influence!
by Crystal Jordan August 20th, 2009 at 8:40 amOh, I’d be so game on the steampunk party. The book I’m writing now has a very slight steampunk vibe to it. Well…can’t issue spoilers here, but I can tell you in an email. So I’d be all over that! The pics are awesome. What creative ladies you are.
by Deidre Knight August 20th, 2009 at 8:42 amI’m in awe of anyone who writes and holds down any kind of day-job.
It’s been argued that having a writing-related day-job (like being an agent) makes the road as writer smoother. I…think it’d make it harder, because I tend to take market talk to heart a little more than I should (You can’t write “THAT” b/c it won’t sell!)
Do you ever find yourself wishing your day job was something completely unrelated to writing? Like…underwater basket-weaving, or crocheting, perhaps?
by Rowan Larke August 20th, 2009 at 8:46 amHi, Rowan:
I think that in a lot of ways it is MUCH harder to be a writer and an agent. But, on the other hand, I think I’ve learned TONS as an agent as a result of being an author. Which is a bit of an inverted look at your initial question. Seriously…when I think of all the publicity and promo knowledge I’ve gained as a writer, and can in turn share with my clients, I’m amazed. I mean, today on Houston FM radio we have two clients being showcased along with me. Well, the reason I met this producer was as a result of my own writing–and, in turn, was able to line up clients.
But, yes, knowing too much about how this business works has caused me some serious heartache at times. I try to forget all that I know in terms of my own career, but it can be hard. I also get burned out on reading/editing/writing as a result of my job, so when I turn to my writing, not as refreshed as I could be. But, OTOH, my writing itself refreshes me a lot of the time.
Yes, I think i should go start a crochet collective!!
Hugs
by Deidre Knight August 20th, 2009 at 8:54 amOh! I didn’t even THINK about the reverse…the writer-as-agent…I suppose it makes it easier when your authors tell you about the voices in their head…
Another question…do you find the authors you work with are similar to you in style/content or process?
How DO you manage your time? Are you very regimented so that from 9-5 you are Deidre-the-Agent, and 5-9 Deidre-the-Author? CAN you set aside one while you do the other?
And yes. A crochet collective! Like the Borg only more close-knit (groan!)
by Rowan Larke August 20th, 2009 at 9:07 amI don’t know how you do it actually. I have a hard enough time dealing with 4 kids my house and my writing and you add agenting on top of that :)
by Kate Pearce August 20th, 2009 at 9:35 amI’m not sure I always get the balance right between everything-I think my daughter has gone feral this summer due to all the freedom she’s had LOL
Sometimes I wish for the pre-kid days or simply the chance to sleep for as long as I want and not have my days all scheduled up a year in advance. But then I wouldn’t really want to change anything because I’m so lucky to have a career I love and a family.
I wonder if all mother/writer/women feel like this?
hugs!
I get that nostalgia, too, sometimes. For peace and quiet, and nothing bombarding me for my attention right this very minute.
But as soon as I do have downtime, I long for the ‘net. I long for contact with my cyberfriends, or I find myself being fascinated at the information immediately available at my fingertips. And then I wonder how I ever did without this technology!
What did I do with myself in the evenings? Watch tv?? (I may have read more, but I still make time for reading now…sometimes too much time.)
So, I get it. I think having all this technology makes us appreciate the down-times, the quiet times. But if our lives went back to being all quiet all the time, we’d go crazy missing the stimulation! :-)
by Shannon McKelden August 20th, 2009 at 10:42 amI’m with Crystal–anyone who uses Joss/Buffy analogies wins with me, LOL.
I find that I don’t really get nostalgic–not that much. I guess my future seems brighter than my past, at least when it comes to writing. I’d always written something, but I never started writing stories until a few years ago.
And honestly, I swear I don’t know how mothers/wives/agents/writers do it all–especially successfully! Y’all are amazing. Just sayin’.
by Maya Doyle August 20th, 2009 at 11:05 amI prefer to think of myself as a gooooood influence…*G*
by Eden Bradley August 20th, 2009 at 11:58 amDierdre-we are trying to put together a reader party for RT next year where everyone can come in costume-we will be sure to let you know!
I love what you said about finding balance and doing something useful in some aspect of your life every day-I need to remember that those columns other than ‘author’ are important and count for something, even if my writing is let go for the day.
Thanks so much for coming to visit us!
Eden-the best you can get away with is being a REALLY GOOD bad influence LOL
Dierdre: Thank you for coming to see us! And I second Crystal’s comment-mention Joss-instant love. :)
by R.G. Alexander August 22nd, 2009 at 9:54 am