Smutketeers

Yep. We’re having another contest. Eden Bradley has a Samhain release coming out on Friday, Winter Solstice, plus, it’s the holidays. You should get presents on the holidays. You’ve all been good…right?

So to celebrate the season of giving, and Eden’s beautiful new Celestial Seductions series, we are having a sing along.

I’ll start us out today, and then tomorrow I’ll start a song that I expect all of you to finish. On Thursday, Eden will give you a sneak peek of her wonderful new release and give out a few prizes then.

A big winner will be chosen from the most prolific and creative of posters, and they will get a stocking full of cheer. No peeking. It’s a surprise.

Now for the singing. Get ready, we’re about to smut up some of our favorite carols.

SMUTKETEERS (to Silver Bells)

Internet sites, all the blog sites, loading ho-liday files

Everyone planning something for Christmas

Being us though, you have to know, we have our unique style

Our own way to spread seasonal cheer

Smutketeers, Smutketeers

We wish you hot sex, for Christmas

Smutketeers, Smutketeers

And lots of love come Christmas Day

You need new clothes, you need new shoes, he needs a-nother tie

And the tiny gifts found in your stockings

Instead of names, pick a new game, gifts you don’t have to buy

That will make you both stand up and cheer.

Smutketeers, Smutketeers

Give him the best gift for Christmas

Smutketeers, Smutketeers

Make sure she comes Christmas Day.

TWELVE DAYS OF SEX TOYS

On the first day of Christmas my lover gave to me

An overflowing bag of batteries.

On the 2nd day of Christmas my lover gave to me

2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 3rd day of Christmas my lover gave to me

3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos, and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 4th day of Christmas my lover gave to me

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 5th day of Christmas my lover gave to me

5 swats from this- http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 6^th day of Christmas my lover gave to me

6 Turbo Massagers

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 7^th day of Christmas my lover gave to me

7 anal ticklers

6 Turbo Massagers

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 8^th day of Christmas my love he gave to me

8 sex swings swinging

7 anal ticklers

Love that massager

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 9^th day of Christmas my lover gave to me

9 clamps for nipples

8 sex swings swinging

7 anal ticklers

Yes! That massager

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 10^th day of Christmas my love he gave to me

10 wands of magic

9 clamps a pinching

8 Sex swings swinging

7 anal ticklers

Need 6 more massagers

5 swats from this! http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries

On the 11^th day of Christmas my true love gave to me.

11 berry butt plugs

10 wands of magic

9 clamps a pinching

8 Sex swings swinging

7 anal ticklers

6 Turbo massagers

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries.

On the 12th day of Christmas my lover gave to me,

12 orgasms

11 berry butt plugs

10 wands of magic

9 clamps a pinching

8 Sex swings swinging

7 anal ticklers

6 Turbo massagers

5 swats from this http://www.stockroom.com/Impression-Paddle–OUCH-P1963.aspx

4 purple rabbits, 3 pairs of handcuffs, 2 glass dildos and an overflowing bag of batteries.

 Here are the links to the rest of the toys:

http://www.stockroom.com/Bully-Nipple-Clamps-P2887.aspx

http://www.discreet-romance.com/anal-tickler-pink-jelly-adult-sex-toys-16751.html?manufacturers_id=57

 http://www.edenfantasys.com/FUR-HANDCUFFS-PINK/adult-toys-dvds-5888

 http://www.brookstone.com/personal-massagers_theraspa-turbo-body-massagers.html

 http://www.pleasuremenow.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=780

  http://www.pleasuremenow.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2501

 http://www.dildo-superstore.com/Ass-Berries-Butt-Plug.html

 http://www.adamevetoys.com/sp-cyberglass-four-way-g-12047.aspx

And finally…

CHARLIE THE TOE MAN (To Frosty the Snowman-yes, some of us are going to hell lol)

Charlie the Toe Man

Had a fetish for girl’s feet

He would rub and suck, and if he could f***them, his life would be complete.

Charlie the Toe Man

Knew that some thought he was strange

But his friends would say, oh he’s just that way, and we know he’ll never change.

One day while sitting in a shoe store staring dreamy eyed

A girl named Teal, with a perfect heel, agreed to be his bride

Now Charlie’s happy

And his friends cheer his great catch.

His love’s more secure, with each pedicure, now he’s found his perfect match.

Glompity glump glump, glompity glump, glump, look at Charlie go

Glompity glump glump glompity glump glump, sucking on her big toe.

 Okay fellow smut elves, get ready. Tomorrow you’ll have to sing along to win the prize.