Smutketeers

RG the Smutty Xmas Elf: Um…this is awkward. How does an Elf introduce herself? *drumroll* Merry Happy Holidays to you from the innocent, dirty-rhyming-sex toy delivering-erotic romance writing Smutketeer R.G. Alexander! :) I don’t know about all of you-but my mind is officially blown.  All of these authors! Sure, maybe I shouldn’t have had all that eggnog before I wrote our Xmas song, but I know you’ll forgive me. Let’s see whats in the goody bag today! Wowza *blink*

The 9th Dirty Day of Xmas, now we have something blue

a shower toy with suction,

sweet oil for massaging, mask that’s not for sleeping, bullet vibe from Feisty

Viiiiibrating Cock Riiiiing

Feathers get me hot, chocolate hits the spot, handcuffs don’t unknot—and a brand new Smutketeer to loooooove.

RG Alexander: Thanks! Not sure how I’m going to top that giant blue…gulp. How about I just post some book stuff and offer a prize?

Blurb: In the Big Easy, there’s a legend women long for: a sexual voodoo spirit who can fulfill their darkest fantasies. And in these three steaming-hot novellas, he helps three New Orleans couples achieve the ultimate satisfaction…

In Release Me, Allegra heads down to New Orleans to heal her wounds, but she never expects to lose her heart to such a quiet, troubled man as Rousseau. She’s even less prepared for the scorching, sexual spirit within him-and what he can do to her…

In Reclaim Me, Ben has loved Michelle as long as he can remember. But his beautiful artist has a way of running away from life-and what the pair could be. Leave it to the infamous spirit to help Ben prove to Michelle where she belongs: in his embrace…

In Redeem Me, it’s All Saints’ Day, the one day the voodoo spirit can walk the world in the flesh. When he bumps into Bethany, she might just be the reincarnation of a girl he once loved. Passion ignites, but can the couple overcome past mistakes and have a real chance at love?

Available now at Barnes and Noble , Amazon etc

And a sneak peek at an early cover for Three Sinful Wishes, coming  to Berkley in June 2011! Just a little tease :)

When three friends gather here to make wishes for their most intimate desires, each of them discovers that in love, two is company…and three is even better.

And here is my latest from Samhain-book 2 of Shifting Reality series from Samhain Publishing-My Demon Saint

Would you like to play a game?

Shifting Reality, Book 2

Saint is half human, half demon…all trouble. With his roommate Thomas mated to Margo, and Mac on one of those long, lonely, feeling-eternally-sorry-for-yourself vampire vacations, Saint is on his own and restless.

A lovesick shifter’s request to locate a woman isn’t exactly his idea of fun—he’s no matchmaker—but he agrees. And finds not only his quarry, but a whole lot more than he bargained for: a top player in his own online game that, until now, has somehow escaped his notice. A woman so tempting that when she touches the keyboard with her fingertips, he can feel it right down to his bones.

Housebound for the last few years due to an accident, Ume’s only distraction from the endless physical therapy sessions has been an online role-playing game. When she logs in this time, though, something is different. She finds herself lost in the game—literally—and falling for a mysterious warrior on her way to face the Demon King in his lair.

And that’s before it gets weird.

Contest! One winners choice of any ebook from my backlist or a signed print copy of Twilight Guardian, Midnight Falls or Possess Me….or a $20 Amazon gift card (for those already caught up)

Oh and have a glorious holiday season and may your New Year be better than you could ever imagine!

RG the Smutty Xmas Elf: What she said :)

RG the Smutty Xmas Elf: *whispers* I’m having a fan-elf moment.  Larissa Ione is here! She’s giving one lucky reader a signed copy of Sin Undone (excerpt below) or the first book in the series, for those who haven’t read it. Yay!

We are so happy…we just have to sing. Yes we do. Don’t argue with the Xmas elf!

The 8th Dirty Day of Xmas, Larissa we love you!

Kama Sutra oil, mask that’s made of satin, bullet vibe from Feisty

Viiiiiibrating Cock Riiiiiing

Don’t tickle me there, chocolate’s in my hair, handcuffed to the chair—and a brand new Smutketeer to loooooove

Larissa: Hi everyone!  And thank you to the Smutketeers for having me! I’m such a fan of these ladies, that I’m grinning from ear to ear like a happy-ass Christmas elf right now!

Of course Christmas is my favorite time of year, so I starting grinning as soon as Halloween is over. I freaking LOVE Christmas. Christmas movies, songs, decorations, food…YUM.

So anyway, to break up the wintery cold, I’m giving you a steamy taste of Sin Undone, my latest release. Hopefully Con, my dhampire hero will warm you up a bit!  Enjoy!

Excerpt:

“Do it, asshole,” Sin spat.  “Bite me.  What are you fucking waiting for?”

Con slammed Sin against the wall and bit into her neck.  She gasped, but the sound was followed by a low moan.  As her honeyed blood poured down his throat, his libido went berserk, the way it had in Eidolon’s office, except multiplied by a hundred.  Maybe it was because they were alone.  Maybe it was because they had full body contact and his anger had shot all his common sense through the roof.

Maybe it was because with each feeding, the addiction was building.

“Con…”  His name came out on a whisper of breath against his ear, and it was his turn to moan.  Especially when her legs came up and hooked around his waist, putting his aching shaft in contact with her core.

Her nails dug into his shoulders.  “Fuck me,” she murmured.

For most dhampires — and vampires — feeding went hand in hand with sex, which was why he preferred to take his blood from females.  Few of his kind were picky about the sex of their bed and blood mates, but Con had long ago determined that a soft, sweet female was the best fit for him.

Except there was nothing soft or sweet about Sin, and for some reason, that fact had a far more powerful effect on him.  The fight, the intensity…it rocked him like nothing — and no one — else.

Yes.  No.  Ah, damn, his body was screaming for her, but his mind swirled with doubts.  Deeper involvement with her would be a bad thing on so many levels.  He’d keep her safe because he owed her brothers and because she could be key in finding an answer to the epidemic, but that was as far as the relationship between  Sin and Con could go.

“Con.”  Her satiny lips brushed his cheek, and the raw desire in her voice pummeled his resolve.  “I need it.”

Right.  Duh.  Succubi.  He had to keep her safe and healthy.  Justifying sex had never been so easy.

He couldn’t tear open his fly fast enough.

Sin wrapped one arm around his neck and dropped her other between them so she could rip open her own pants.  Not gently, he shoved her up on the counter, disengaged his fangs, and jerked off her pants and thong.  They caught on her boots, and he growled with impatience, tearing her pants as he yanked them off.

“Hurry,” she breathed.

Now was definitely not the time for finesse, and he didn’t spare her as he gripped her thighs, spread them, and plunged deep into her satin core.  Her cry of passion joined his.  He felt her everywhere — on his skin, in his blood.  It was like drowning in ecstasy, and he could no longer remember why he’d resisted her.

“Harder,” she moaned, and holy hell, she was a fucking dream come true.

He planted his palms on the wall above her head, and she leaned back, bracing herself on her arms behind her, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist in that way all males loved.  A trickle of blood ran down her throat from the punctures in her neck, and he dipped his head to swipe his tongue over it.  The flavor nearly had him coming.

“I love how you taste,” he growled against her throat.  “I want to taste you everywhere.”  He wanted to get her naked and then spend hours kissing her all over.  Licking and nibbling and sucking every inch of skin, with a heavy emphasis on that succulent place between her legs.

“Yes.”  The word came out on a harsh whisper.  “Come, Con.  Now.”

Since semen was the trigger for her, the idea of torturing her by withholding for a little while was appealing as hell, but he was too far gone to scrounge up that kind of control, not when her sex was like a glove, squeezing and massaging until he was on the verge.

He pumped into her, hard and fast, so much more wild than they’d been in the supply closet, when they’d been virtual strangers sneaking a quickie before her brothers caught them and castrated his ass.

His hip rubbed on her thigh holster, a strangely erotic sensation, and when she flexed her muscles, the sheath dug into his flesh, catapulting him to climax.  It hit him like a searing wave of lava, spreading up his spine and into every limb.  He spilled into Sin, and her core clenched around him as she joined him in a blatantly silent release.  She was holding back, just as she had the first time.

RG the Smutty Xmas Elf: We need a little Xmas, right this very minute! Especially if this cool rider/national bestselling author is the one giving it to us. Jaci Burton has a new contemporary romance out from Carina Press called, All She Wants For Christmas. Great title. Great author. How can you lose? Jaci is giving away an ebook from her backlist or $20 Amazon gift card to one lucky reader.

This is the time on Sprockets where we sing! (if you don’t get that, don’t worry. Just a little Elf humor gone awry.)

7th Dirty Day of Xmas, do you see what I do?

A mask to match the handcuffs, bullet vibe from Feisty

Viiiiibrating Cock Riiiiiiing

Feather ticklin’s fun, painting chocolate buns, handcuffs for your hon—and a brand new Smutketeer to looooooove.

Jaci’s new book!

RG the Smutty Xmas Elf: Some darkened bordello,  where walls echo with moans of delight.

Somewhere in the desert, where  a thousand fires burn through the night. That is where you might find her. The mysterious creature known as the Feisty….or you could just come here for our Dirty Xmas contest :)

But before I unveil her-we must, as always, SING!

The 6thDirty Day of Xmas, Feisty’s here, it’s true!

A bullet for her pleasure

Viiiibrating Cock Riiiiiing

Tickle me with this, paint me with that, bondage just for fun—

and a brand new Smutketeer to looooooove.

Sting of Desire, Available now at Samhain

Blurb:

Love comes at the turn of a card…or the crack of a whip.

Sandine would love to walk out of her ex-boyfriend’s life forever. Except the sadistic bastard stole the ancient tarot cards her late mother gave her, knowing she’ll do anything to get them back. Including endure his abuse on the stage of his sex club.

For the crime of trying to get her prized cards back, she’s steeling herself for the public beating of her life. Knowing that no matter how much she screams, no one will come to her aid.

Harry Marshall should be immune to undercover work at sex clubs by now. From the moment he spots Sandine chained at the mercy of the suspected drug dealer he’s after, his gut tells him something isn’t right. He can’t believe he’d risk blowing his cover by stepping in, much less his body’s erotic reaction to inflicting pain on her luscious body.

Question is, how deeply involved is she in her ex’s drug dealing—if at all? If she’d stay out of his way long enough to find out, he wouldn’t have to put his own mission in danger to keep protecting her from her ex…and herself.

Her two Grand Central books are both available at Amazon now!

And of course, her part in the Smutketeer Wasteland series-The Whore

RG the Smutty Xmas Elf: Are you having as much fun as I am? Every day a new post, a new book, a new toy! The only thing better? Singing for sex toys!

The 5th Dirty Day of Xmas,  to this you’ll say, “I do”

FIIIVE GOLDEN RIIINGS! (hold the note) okay its actually only one but it vibrates and its for a man’s…you knooooow. :)

one feather tickler, sticky chocolate art,  bondage just for fun—and a brand new Smutketeer to loooooove.

Eden/Eve: Happy Holidays, everyone, and welcome to Day 5 of the Smutketeers’ 12 Dirty Days of X-mas! In keeping with our theme I have a few dirty excerpts coming up for you today. There’s nothing better to curl up with on a cold December night than a smutty book-unless it’s a special, hot someone to keep you company-and both is even better! So grab whoever’s within reach and cuddle up close and read on!

First up is a tasty little tidbit from my debut Eve Berlin novel, PLEASURE’S EDGE, a BDSM romance, available now from Berkley Heat:

Desire was molten heat in her body, seeping like liquid through her limbs, her veins. And when he used both hands to spread the lips of her sex apart, she went soaking wet.
“Spread wider for me, yes, that’s it.”
He pushed her legs apart, until she was wide open to him. She felt wanton. Beautiful.
“This is my favorite part of a woman’s body,” he told her quietly, using his fingers to massage the swollen folds. “Some say it looks like a flower, an orchid. I agree. Just as sweet. Just as precious. And so damn soft.”
As she watched, he lifted one hand, pressed two fingers between his lips and sucked.
She moaned. She could barely hold still.
“Ah, you like that?”
“Yes,” she whispered, barely able to speak.
He smiled, used those same fingers to push between the lips of her sex. He rubbed at her opening, and she thought she would lose her mind if he didn’t thrust into her soon. Pleasure was a hard ache in her sex, her clitoris burning with need.
“Please, Alec…”
“Do you need to come already, my girl?”
“Yes!”
He pushed his fingers in, and she arched against him. With his thumb, he pressed against her clitoris.
“Oh!”
He began to move his hand, his fingers and thumb, in small circles. Pleasure rose, burned through her.
“Are you going to come?”
“Yes, yes…”
“Hold it back.”
“No…”
“Yes. Hold on, Dylan.”
She bit her lip, trying to bear down against the tide of pleasure threatening to take her under. And as she did, his other hand went under her buttock and pinched, hard.
“Oh…”
“Is that good?”
“It…it hurts.”
“But is it good?” he demanded.
“Yes. It’s good. Ah…”
He pinched again, harder this time, and the pain bit into her system, mixing with the pleasure.
“Alec. I’m going to come. Please…”
“Not yet. Does the pain make it better?”
“It makes it…better. Yes. Need to come now!”
“Hold it back. Do it. Tell me you will.”
“I…God…”
Another hard pinch, this one punishing, going beyond the level at which the pain converted to pleasure.
“I’ll do it,” she gasped. “I’ll hold it back.”
Her body was writhing. She didn’t care. His hands kept working her, his fingers inside her, his thumb rubbing, pressing, on her hard clit. And his other hand pinching her buttock, her thigh. It hurt. It felt indescribably good. She was lost in sensation.
“You are so good, Dylan. So damn beautiful. I want to see you come now. For me.”
He thrust his fingers hard inside her, his thumb circling her clit. And at the same time he pinched the flesh on the inside of her thigh, just enough for the pain to drive her climax on.
She came, a thousand stars firing inside her head, hurtling her into space. She gasped for breath, a cry gathering in her throat.
“Oh…God, Alec!”
Her hips arched into his hand, pleasure still racing through her, dazzling her.
She fell back on the bed, blinded. Shivering. And he went with her, climbing onto the bed and pulling her into his lap. He turned her over, and even as the last waves of her climax shuddered through her body, he began to spank her.

* * *
You can buy PLEASURE’S EDGE now, in paperback or digital:
Amazon ~ B&N ~ Borders ~ Chapters.ca ~ Books-a-Million ~ Powell’s ~ IndieBound
* * *

My latest Eden Bradley novel, THE LOVERS from Harlequin Spice, a contemporary erotic romance with a few different twists, was released the same week as PLEASURE’S EDGE, so let’s take a peek at this one, too:

“Baby, this is going to be so good,” Jack whispers into my hair.
I lean into him, loving the solid strength of his body behind me. And even more, his hand between my thighs, his clever fingers playing with my clit, tugging on my pussy lips, teasing me. And his mouth hot and wet on my neck.
I am soaking, shivering with need.
He reaches around with his other hand and draws mine behind me, wrapping my fingers around his cock, which is hard as glass, but with that velvet-soft skin all over the solid shaft.
“Look at them,” he says to me. “She’s so into him. She’s as wet as you are right now; we both know how wet she gets.”
“Yes…”
His fingers slide into my opening, into that wet heat, and I clench in pleasure.
“You’d love to fuck her, wouldn’t you?”
“Oh, yes.”
“And I’d love to fuck you, baby. And I will.”
He pushes my shirt up with his free hand. I am naked underneath, open to the cool air, which feels lovely on my skin, the breeze caressing me like another lover.
I watch as Charles pulls off his pants, moving in close behind Audrey. I can see the shape of his hard cock behind her. Then he presses against her body, and I hear her laughter again as he smacks her ass.
Jack pinches mine and I jump. But he shoves his fingers deep into my pussy at the same time, and all I can do is gasp and arch into him.
“Good, baby?”
“Yes, it’s good. Do it again.”
A low chuckle from him, then he pinches my clit and my ass at the same time, his fingers really twisting the flesh on my ass, and pleasure and pain flow through me in equal measures. And Charles smacks Audrey again, then again, the sound growing louder. She’s groaning now, backing into him. And it is so damn hot: Jack’s hands on me, watching Audrey with Charles, the pain and pleasure, which I have never before experimented with. But with Jack, anything would be good.
“I need to fuck you, Bettina.”
I am breathless, wanting, my legs shaky. “Yes, I need you to. Do it, Jack.”
“Move in closer to the tree, hold yourself up. Yes, that’s it.”
The bark is a bit rough beneath my palms, the rich scent of the cypress filling my head. My shirt—Jack’s shirt—is hiked up over my hips, and I am naked and outdoors and vulnerable. And I love it.
I hear Jack unzip his pants as he moves in behind me, then his hand is on my lower back, pressing me down a bit.
“Spread for me, girl, yeah, and bend over.”
I do as he asks, hanging onto the tree for support, my gaze still on Audrey and Charles. He is grabbing her around the waist, and I can see his erect cock moving closer, then her cries as he slides into her. And at that moment, Jack uses his hand to spread the lips of my sex wide, and plunges in.
“Jack!”
“Shh, they’ll hear us.”
He clamps a hand over my mouth, and for some reason that just makes me melt. My body goes soft all over, filled with pleasure, with his hard cock inside me. His hand slips from my mouth.
“Fuck me, Jack,” I whisper between his fingers. “Come on.”

* * *
You can buy THE LOVERS now, in paperback or digital:
Amazon ~ B&N ~ Borders ~ Chapters.ca ~ Books-a-Million ~ Powell’s ~ IndieBound
* * *

And last but not least, I can’t forget about my lovely vampires from my Midnight Playground series. Here’s a nice little bit of my hot, blood-drinking immortals from BLOODSONG, Book Two in the series:

Aleron looped an arm around Ever’s shoulder. And as she watched, he pulled the older vampire in for a kiss.
Their lips met, briefly, a small kiss, then another. Ever pulled back a few inches, and his tongue, wet and pink, came out to touch Aleron’s lower lip.
She could hardly stand it. They were too beautiful, too utterly sensual. She had never seen anything like it.
Her pussy was drenched, her breasts aching, as she watched them. Their mouths were crushed together now, the kiss becoming more urgent, more primal. She pulled against her restraints, needing to feel that she was held firmly in place, that there was something to control this wild, aching need.
They began to undress each other, their clothes coming off in seconds. They stood together, two tall, pale bodies of dizzying, unearthly beauty she could barely comprehend. Long, lean muscles, their skin like the whitest satin, gleaming in the soft light. Their two cocks, both long, hard as silk over steel, the plump and succulent heads pink. Almost touching.
They kissed once more, briefly, smiled to each other before turning their attention to her.
Every nerve in her body came alive with their gazes on her—one pair like a clear blue sky she had only ever imagined, the other bottomless black fire. Her body surged.
They came closer.
Four hands on her then, stroking everywhere: her belly, arms, thighs. Unbelievable sensation. She was immediately overwhelmed, her body flooded, her own moans soft in her ears. Then her gasp as Aleron gave her nipples a hard pinch.
“You’re ready for us,” he said.
“I am always ready for you,” she managed to get out. “For whatever you want of me.”
Anything for you…for you both.
Ever’s laughter, soft and smoky. “Oh, you are something, aren’t you? Beautiful girl. And your absolute submission is every bit as gorgeous as your golden body, your exotic face.”
They both stepped away for several moments, leaving her bereft, confused. She was deep in subspace. There was no other option, with these two powerful beings touching her, commanding her. Then she felt the heat behind her.
Aleron.
And the cooler presence of Ever.
One moment of exquisite anticipation, then the sharp crack of the whip against her back.
“Oh!”
Her body melted, pain and pleasure fusing like water. She recognized instantly the difference in the touch of the whip, and knew it was Ever.
The whip came down again, and again. She surged into its kiss, wanting the pain, wanting to please them both. Wanting the pleasure of it all.
It was a hard whipping, her skin going raw quickly. She was panting, her body working to convert the pain to pleasure, her mind flooded with endorphins. Soon, it became too much. Too much desire, sharp in her veins. Too much pain pelting her skin, over and over. Tears pooled in her eyes, flowed down her cheeks.
“Enough,” Aleron said, his tone commanding.
It stopped.
She sighed, pulled in a gasping breath. Aleron came around until he was in front of her.
“You did well, Meeraj.”
He kissed her cheek, her forehead, and her chest ached, needing him. Wanting to please him. Needing him.
He pulled back, gazed into her eyes. Some strange intensity in his gaze, but she couldn’t make it out. Her head was spinning, her body consumed with desire. Her heart ached for him. He moved in closer, laid his lips on hers. And his hand went between her spread legs, his fingers teasing at her slit. She opened for him, his hot tongue sliding between her lips, his strong fingers sinking deep into her pussy. She moaned into his mouth, her body burning. She melted into him.
Aleron…

* * *
You can buy BLOODSONG now:
Samhain Publishing ~ Amazon ~ B&N ~ Sony ~ Powell’s ~ Deisel e-books
* * *
***TODAY’S CONTEST!!!***
Today I’m giving away a signed copy of my erotic BDSM romance novel, PLEASURE’S EDGE, along with the vibrating cock ring from Screaming O-and let me tell you from personal experience, this handy dandy little device will make you and your partner *hummmmm* with pleasure! Experience a Screaming O for yourself-with perhaps a hot sex scene from my book to get things started.
Just comment here to be entered to win! All prize winners be announced right here on the Smutketeers blog on December 19th. And we have lots more fabulous guests still to come (so to speak…*G* ), so be sure to check back every day as we continue our 12 Dirty Days of X-mas with tons of prizes, sizzling excerpts and more of our smutty li’l holiday song to celebrate the holiday season and the addition of the lovely, talented and delicious Karen Erickson to our smutty crew!

All For Smut, and Smut For All!

Eden/Eve

RG the Smutty Xmas Elf: Yesterday’s dirty offering and today’s guest both make me think of one thing…chocolate. Have you ever had a chocolate martini? I have. It tastes especially yummy when a laugh out loud funny, heat your cheeks sexy, prolific and irrepressible author buys it for you to celebrate the sale of your very first book. The Smutketeers say welcome Ashlyn Chase, to our smutastic celebration!

Time to sing and offer up more holiday sex toys!

The 4th Dirty Day of Xmas, oh can I have one too? A sassy feather tickler,

chocolate flavored goodness, handcuffs red and fuzzy–and a brand new Smutketeer to looooove.

Ashlyn: Greetings from New England, the land of Christmas trees and postcard beauty. It’s also the land of witch-tit cold this time of year. It seems as if Canada left the back door open and we’re all freezing our asses off. (Yes, I said back door and ass in the same sentence.)

Every year I wonder why the f*ck I’m living here? Oh yeah, family. Those pesky old New England families never move. Well, a few years back I bought a timeshare in Florida. At least I can escape to short sleeves and palm trees one week each winter. It usually includes my birthday, so sun and fun are my gifts.

But enough about the weather. It ties into my story, eventually, I promise. I know why Santa Day is celebrated at the end of December. It’s not just because Christians in their zeal to obliterate pagan holidays and traditions came up with Christ’s birthday to replace Yule, the winter solstice celebration. (Hey, they were only 3 months off according to astronomers.) But it’s also meant to comfort people who know what’s coming…blizzards, cars stuck in snow banks, and widespread blackouts. Why do you think so many of our old Colonial homes come with fireplaces? No, it’s not for ambiance and so Santa can descend our chimneys…it’s so we don’t freeze to death, literally.

We finally bought a generator when the ice storm of December ’08 knocked out our power for a solid week. My husband stood in line for two hours waiting for a shipment of generators from another state. He was fifteenth in a line of fifty people! Thank goodness, we got one of the precious electricity makers when thirty-five of them arrived. Then we had to chain it to a Lally column, so it wouldn’t get stolen. It was Monkey Island up here for a while.

Sure, as a way to stay warm, we could have sex for seven days straight…That’s how our ancestors wound up with so friggin’ many kids. But now that we have our generator, guess whose home the family descends upon when the power goes out. It wouldn’t be a problem except that I’m a screamer. (You know, during orgasm…not just because winter makes me bitchy)

My editor told me to change my heroine’s reaction to sex once in a while. “She always winds up screaming,” she pointed out. I had to tell her that my husband must be really good, because I always scream too. She let it stand. Heh heh.

So, if you’d like to read about my screaming, climaxing heroine and an extraordinary blackout in her Boston apartment building, bringing together her paranormal neighbors in weird combinations, read Strange Neighbors. It’s the first in a series, so you’ll want to pick it up now!

Book 2 The Werewolf Upstairs comes out Feb 1^st. It’s available for pre-order now.

Thank you for putting up with my long-winded post. As a reward for your patience, I’m posting an excerpt from my romantic comedy Strange Neighbors, which, by the way, would make an awesome Xmas gift. I’m giving away a copy in either ebook or mass market paperback if you win the contest. Go to my website and tell me which review site gave Strange Neighbors an award. Bonus entry if you click on the raves page (mainstream section) and quote part of the review plus the reviewer’s name.
http://www.ashlynchase.com

Recognizing Morgaine’s voice, but unable to hear any response, Chad deduced that she was on the phone—and possibly on the phone-sex line! He could always hope that some kind of real foreplay might be in progress, but he pushed his way through the wooden door to find out.

He always felt as if he needed to spit sawdust after going through doors. It was better than plaster, though.

“Oh, yeah… Do you like that, baby? Hmmm… I’m really turned on right now.”

Sure enough, Morgaine was using her moneymaker—her super sexy phone voice.

Suddenly the other phone rang.

The witches had two dedicated lines each, and he assumed each had their own clients. But the best thing about their living together was their ability to cover for each other—callers never had to hang up disappointed when they needed to get their rocks off.

“No, baby. I don’t have to go,” Morgaine said breathily.

“I have to come.”

Gwyneth rushed in and picked up the ringing telephone.

Morgaine added some heavy panting, and then… “Oooh, Ahhh, Ohhhhhhhhh. AAAAAAAGH!

AAAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAAAH!”

She panted a few times, then said, “That was fantastic! You’re so incredible. Did I satisfy you too, baby? Yeah? Good.” After a brief giggle, she said, “Of course. Call any time. We’re always here for you, baby.”

As soon as she hung up, she returned to the kitchen where something brewed on a slow simmer. It looked like another batch of her protection potion. Chad had seen her make it before. She kept the black liquid at just below a boil. He remembered when it bubbled over and made a mess of the white appliances and tile floor. Morgaine declared the batch ruined and threw it out.

Sometimes they slaved over the hot stove for twenty minutes or more as they stirred their spells into all kinds of horrible soupy looking things. Of course, sometimes they were simply making soup. Chad could only tell if they tasted the stuff.

He switched his attention to Gwyneth as she began talking dirty in her sexy Southern drawl.

Chad loved it when Gwyneth used the endearment “Dahlin’” to her better clients. That slow drawl plus the sexy voice could make him come. As it was, he tried to avoid the frustration.

It amazed him how the cousins could turn it on and off at a moment’s notice. Of course, it was acting! That’s why they called themselves phone-sex actresses and could win academy awards. Certainly their performances rivaled Meg Ryan’s. Heh heh. I’ll have what she’s having.

Chad knew they had an owl familiar and wondered where it was. Athena was a real owl—kept like a beloved pet. They believed she contained the spirit of some kind of reincarnated ancestor or spiritual guardian. Chad thought it was just a dumb bird. Her perch was in the bathroom, so if she spilled her food or had an accident, they wouldn’t lose another area rug. She didn’t fly much, but sometimes got turned on by all the noises and began flapping her wings and hooting.

“Oh, gawd, dahlin’… Oh, that feels so good… Oh yeah, dahlin’. Are you close? Now? Awww… Shee-it! AAAAAaaa, AAAAAaaa, AAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Hoo… Hoo…

Told ya.

RG the Smutty Xmas Elf: Day 3 makes me think of threesomes. I know I’m not the only one :) While that naughty but nice thought is in your head…we should add to our song.

The 3rd Dirty Day of Xmas, ménage a trios pour vous,

chocolate body painting, red fuzzy handcuffs, and a brand new Smutketeer to looooove.

Crystal: Or maybe the post title should say someone gave to Crystal? I’m not sure. I leave figuring out song stuff to RG. She is the Smutty Xmas Elf, after all. Don’t let the innocent face fool you.

Let’s see. Eden (or was it Eve? They look so much alike, I can never tell the difference) has decreed that we shall set forth excerpts and other give away goodness for you. And when Eden cracks the whip, you have to listen. Because she’s got a whip in her hand, hello. Any sane person’s going to do what she says. I’m a lot of things, but there’s no dumb in this blonde. Just ask my boyfriend. He loves me cuz I’m smart and stuff. But I digress. Where was I? Oh, yes. Giving it up for free. Okay, here’s an extra long excerpt and then prize info below that. Lots of goodies to win!

And I think I can speak for all the Smutketeers when I say have a safe and happy holiday and a wonderful new year. May 2011 be better than any year that came before it.

Happy holidays!

Now on to the main event…here’s an excerpt from PRIMAL HEAT, which just released last month.

Order Print Book Here: Amazon.com · Amazon · Barnes & Noble · Chapters.ca · Books-A-Million · IndieBound · Kensington · Borders · Powell’s Books
Order eBook Here: Amazon Kindle · B&N NOOKbook

Excerpt

Brenna couldn’t sleep.

She sat at her kitchen table, wrapped in a bathrobe and nursing a mug of decaf. Two in the morning was no time to pump caffeine into her system. It sure as hell wouldn’t help. She wasn’t an eighteen-year-old army private who could go days without sleep and not feel it. That time had come and gone over a decade and a half ago. When she was on duty tomorrow, she’d be hurting and wishing to God she’d found a way to get some shut-eye. A sigh slid from her, and she scrubbed a tired hand over her forehead.

This wasn’t the first sleepless night she’d had recently, and they were becoming more and more frequent. The plus side was her house was spotless. The down side was . . . well, she was parked in her kitchen at o-dark-thirty blinking grit from her eyes. Again.

She focused on the only thing out of place in the pristine room. The little device sitting in the middle of her table. It was round, had a dome-shaped speaker on top, and could fit snuggly in the palm of her hand. Reaching out, she pushed down on the dome and a high-pitched static with a buzzing, electronic squeal issued from the speaker. Wincing, she clicked it again and turned it off.

It was hard to believe that something so small could dull the massive psychic powers of an alien. Her commanding officer had had scientists working on the prototype for months, but now it was ready for use in their war against the Kith. She wasn’t sure how it worked exactly, or even how they’d tested it to make sure it did work, but there were a lot of things she wasn’t sure about anymore.

Which was what was keeping her up at night, if she was honest with herself. Not that she wanted to be. She’d be a lot better off if she could stuff her head back in the sand. Taking a sip of her coffee, she closed her eyes and slumped in her chair.

“Jesus,” she groaned.

Pushing to her feet, she wandered into her living room, flipped the television on to the news, and plopped onto her couch. The headlines scrolled by, reports about the imminent alien invasion and what the military was doing to stop it. She shook her head and set her mug down on the coffee table.

It all came back to General Arthur and the Kith. An entire armada of alien warships had shown up almost a year ago, and they’d been orbiting Earth ever since, a constant menacing presence in the sky. They claimed to be from a planet called Suen. They claimed Earth was an abandoned colony settled by slaves of the weaker Kin race–weaker humans. They claimed they had no interest in Earth except to find their emperor’s soul mate, his One, who was somewhere among the unwashed of humanity.

Right.

As if a fleet of warships traveled all the way across the universe for one human woman. Bren snorted and flipped her long braid over her shoulder. They could have at least come up with a story that didn’t insult people’s intelligence.

Leading the campaign of bullshit was Lord Farid Arjun. Her mind provided an image of the tall, blond, and gorgeous Kith diplomat. She shivered, a frisson of excitement, longing, and loathing went through her. The alien was her enemy, cold, condescending, and rude, but he could do things with his mind that were indecent, and since the first day he’d met her, he’d never stopped toying with her. She stomped down on that thought, embarrassed that she couldn’t control her reaction to an alien with a smooth tongue gilded with lies.

No matter what diplomats like Arjun said, the world had devolved into mass hysteria when the Sueni arrived. Some people wanted to roll out the welcome wagon, but most were just afraid of a vastly more powerful race of people with technology and weaponry the likes of which had never been seen on Earth before. People were scared. Bren was one of those people. But more than scared, she was mad. Mad that anyone thought they had the right to show up after a couple of millennia and say, “Oh, we’re back, slaves. Thanks for looking after things, now get back in your cage.”

Hell, no. Earth wasn’t going down without a fight, and she was determined to be on the front line. She’d been William Arthur’s right hand for fifteen of the eighteen years she’d been in the service. She was behind him when he ordered a preemptive strike against the Sueni that had blown one of their ships out of the sky, and she was behind him when he worked to consolidate the military forces of Earth to create a global defense system.

But more and more often in the last few months, she’d questioned the orders Arthur had given. His new campaigns seemed to be less about protecting people than they were about gathering more power for himself.

She swallowed, clicked off the TV, and scrambled to her feet, all but running to her bedroom and slamming the door behind her to shut out the truth. Dread cramped her belly. She didn’t want to think about this, didn’t want to consider what it meant.

The ramifications were even more terrifying than the Sueni shuttles that came and went despite the warnings and missiles fired from Earth. Other than the one ship down, the Sueni hadn’t lost a single person and had deflected further attacks. So far they’d done nothing violent. They hadn’t even retaliated for the lost ship. It made her uneasy. The shuttles stayed no more than a few hours in one place before leaving again. They could be searching for something–someone–as they’d said, or they could be scouting out vulnerabilities for a violent, bloody endgame.

How much would Arthur’s little white noise device, his new secret weapon, actually help them in driving away the Sueni? She didn’t know. No one did. Yet. The one question that kept resurfacing in her mind was: when did it end? If they finally managed to get rid of the Sueni, what would be left of the world? Would Arthur hand military control back over to individual countries? If they tried to break away from him by force, who would win?

No one. That was the answer. Everything circled back to this being a no-win situation. Shrugging out of her robe, she flopped into bed and beat her pillow into a comfortable shape. If she could learn to nap through bombs going off outside her tent in a hellish desert, she could snooze through stress and doubts–doubts that might not be founded in anything other than sleep-deprived paranoia. She closed her eyes, shut down her mind, and willed herself into slumber.

But it wasn’t dreams that found her. It was him. Again.

Heat screamed through her body, a sudden sexual awakening that was as much pleasure as pain. The shift was so abrupt, it was almost terrifying. Almost.

The moment sleep claimed her, he was over her, on her, in her. Her body arched on the mattress as his cock filled her. And filled her. Her pussy throbbed, clenching tight. Her fists bunched in the sheets, her hips writhing as pleasure rocketed through her. She tried to jerk back, tried to escape the onslaught of ecstasy, but there was no escaping her own mind. He came to her like this, in her dreams, flooding her thoughts with sensations so real she couldn’t tell where the fantasy ended and reality began.

She wished it were just a dream, a fantasy, but she knew it wasn’t. It was him. Farid. He was doing this to her. The Kith nobleman was using his mind to fuck her senseless. As much as she craved it, she hated it–him–hated the power he wielded, hated that the sensual alien had shredded her world when he’d landed on Earth.

Fire licked at her flesh, and she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, fighting him, fighting herself. It was no use, she knew. She’d struggled every time he’d reached for her psychically, and every time she’d failed. He sucked her into the maelstrom of carnality, drowned her in feelings she usually avoided at all costs. She hated the lack of control, the inevitable betrayal of her own body.

God help her, it felt so fucking amazing.

The sensation of being stretched beyond bearing was so vivid, she thought she would die. The last tethers between her and reality ripped loose as he began thrusting inside her. Then she was there, somewhere lost in a dream. The bed was still beneath her, the soft sheets rough against her sensitized flesh, the thick, hot summer night breeze still brushed across her naked breasts, and yet he was with her, in her.

His green eyes sparked as he looked at her, a physical manifestation of his power. The more excited he was, the faster the sparks would come, bursting like tiny fireworks in his irises. A distant part of her wondered if the sparks would stop when the white noise device was turned on, then she tamped down on the thought as fast as she could. The man was inside her head. He could read her thoughts.

He froze over her, as though he sensed that her mind had strayed to something besides what he was doing to her. She struggled to lock away the secrets she knew, scrambling for something to distract this enemy who was deep within her. Licking her lips, she watched his gaze zero in on her movements. His cock throbbed in her pussy, and she squeezed her inner muscles around him. He shuddered, groaned, and began thrusting again, caught in the tempest as much as she had been. She gasped when he ground his hips against her, forcing her thighs wide. A whimper escaped her when his big hand closed over her breast and he pinched her nipple hard between his fingers. Her body bowed under the lash of pleasured pain.

“Brenna,” he breathed, and the word echoed in her mind. His need crackled through the connection between them, driving her desires higher. “Bren. My little khalaa.”

Her hands left the sheets, reaching up to bury in his hair. The silken strands sifted through her fingers and they both shivered. He leaned into her touch, his eyes closing as something beyond ecstasy flickered across his expression. Some part of this had to be pure dream. The man was never this open in real life.

Then he withdrew his long cock, only to slam deep inside her pussy, and nothing mattered but this moment. There were no secrets and no lies, no hiding. She didn’t care what was genuine and what wasn’t, only that he could give her what she needed. His heavy muscles played against her, the heat of his flesh branding her as their hips rolled against each other. The friction of his rougher flesh on her clit made her cry out, ecstasy reverberating through her. His strong hands slid under her, his fingers bit into her ass, and he lifted her into each hot, hard penetration.

“Oh, my God.”

Sweat slipped down her temples to tickle in her hair. She shivered, sobbing for air as her nails dug into his flesh. A low growl rumbled in his chest, and the other side of his nature flashed in his eyes. The animal, the beast, the shape-shifter. Long fangs curved from his mouth and he hissed softly when she grinned at him and raked her nails down his back.

“Always pushing me, Bren.” He shook his head.

She laughed up at him, mocking him and his control. If she had to be stripped of her control and if she couldn’t win the fight against him or herself, she was dragging him down with her. Clenching her internal walls around his thick cock, she closed her eyes and smiled when he gave a low, helpless groan of pure need. His muscles bunched and released beneath her hands as he hammered into her, his thrusts picking up speed and force. The impact of his skin slapping against hers echoed in her bedroom, the sound shockingly carnal.

Her heart raced and her excitement built to a screaming fever pitch. She could feel an orgasm rising like a tide inside her, threatening, beckoning. God, she wanted it, threw herself toward it. If she couldn’t have the self-discipline she always craved, she’d revel in the lack of it. It made her blood rush in her veins, her breath come faster, her muscles shake with pleasure and fear of how that pleasure overwhelmed her.

“Now.” She wrapped her legs around his flanks, digging her heels in to lift herself higher into his thrusts. “Make me come.”

“Yesss.” His groaned tangled with an almost feline hiss. His chest heaved in bellowing breaths, great shudders wracking his body. “I . . . can’t hold on much longer.”

“Don’t. Come with–” She went over the edge before she could finish the sentence, the heat and need and ecstasy coalescing into one blinding explosion. Her sex pulsed around his cock, milking his hard length. He ground his pelvis against her clit and sent another wave of orgasm slamming into her, dragging her deeper. Her body arched and she screamed, the sound drowned out by the deafening leonine roar from him as he followed her into orgasm.

She clung to him, squeezing his hips between her thighs as he flooded her pussy with his hot fluids. His eyes widened, meeting hers, the green sparks coming so fast the entire iris seemed to glow.

He was so beautiful.

The smile that kicked up the corner of his mouth told her he’d heard her thought. She could only hope that was the only thought he’d heard. Ice flowed through her veins. If anyone ever found out about this, her career was over. If she found out he’d dug information from her while mind-fucking her, she’d never forgive herself. It might be worth it to see if sleeping with the white noise maker on could ward him off, but she had her doubts. The man had power that wouldn’t quit, and she hated that she needed a machine to help her control the situation.

She swallowed, let her arms and legs fall away from him, and collapsed back to the mattress. His gaze shuttered, withdrawing as she had. His mouth opened and closed again. Sighing, he shook his head. At her or at himself, she didn’t know. She worked hard to control her breathing, to slow her heartbeat down to normal levels, kicking herself as she always did for losing out to her baser needs.

He brushed tender fingers down her cheek and over her eyes, closing them. “Sleep now, khalaa.”

A soft, replete sigh escaped her, and still she struggled against a command that went beyond words. He used his powers to fog her mind, to make the sweetness of dreams take her all the way under into real sleep, and she knew when she awakened he’d have evaporated like so much smoke on the sultry midnight breeze.

And she’d spend the day cursing herself for losing the battle of wills between them.

Again.

**CONTEST**

The contest couldn’t be easier. Just comment here to be entered to win. I’m giving away a signed copy of SEXY BEAST 9, which has my novella “Between Lovers”, as well as some chocolate body paint. Fun for the whole family!

All prize winners be announced right here on the Smutketeers blog on December 19th, so remember to stop by! Plus, cum–I mean, come–back for the rest of the 12 Days of XXXmas for more fun and games with our guests and the other Smutketeers, including our naughtilicious and lovable new Smut, Karen!

RG The Smutty Xmas Elf: Day two! Wasn’t yesterday fun? And it just keeps getting better. Today we have two people the Smutketeers adore–Lakota Phillips (I can’t believe you created that beautiful piece of art just for The Smutketeers!) and Robin L. Rotham (My dirty alien lovin’ farm wife)! Take it away ladies!

But first-Sex toy sing-a-long time! Here are the rules. Each day I will add a new sexy gift to the song (with a pic), and the posters for that day will be entered, not only in the author’s contest, but ours as well. 12 toys, 12 days, 12 winners.

The next Dirty Day of Xmas, thought I was seeing two-

A pair of fuzzy handcuffs-and a brand new Smutketeer to loooooove.

Lakota: Happy holidays smut-lovers! I’m delighted to be here celebrating xxxmas naughtiness with Robin and the Smutketeers. I’ve known most of these bad girls for many years and enjoyed all of their erotic novels. I’m kind of the odd woman out. I’m an artist and I host a talk radio show out of LA called Breaking Taboo that live streams each monday afternoon/evening and sex is often (okay 90% of the time) a topic of discussion. What can I say, I love sex. Mix that with the holidays and it’s a recipe for some wild, kinky fun.

RG the Smutty X-mas Elf: I’m poking my head in to say…SURPRISE!! The big announcement we’ve been hinting at–the one to kick off this year’s 12 Dirty Days of Xmas–is here! Right there — —> Our foursome (or four and a half-some if you count Eden’s alter-ego) is growing!! I call her Sticky Bun, but you should recognize her author name. The Smutketeers have known and loved her for years, and we wanted her. I mean, really wanted her *wink*  She belongs on our smutty steampunky dirigible, and we are so glad we seduced her…um convinced her to join us. So give her a warm Smutkedette welcome! We should sing and give stuff away now. :)

The First Dirty Day Of X-mas, From Smutketeers To You

A Brand New Smutketeer To Looooove.

Karen: Good morning everybody! You don’t know how excited I am to be the newest Smutketeer! When the lovely ladies here asked me if I wanted to join them I didn’t even hesitate. Who doesn’t want to be a part of all the smutty fun? Besides the fact I also consider these four wonderful women my friends…

So let me introduce myself. My name is Karen Erickson and I write mostly contemporary, very sexy (most of the time erotic) romance. Shall I give you the proper professional rundown? I’ve been published since 2006 with various e-publishers including Cobblestone Press and Ellora’s Cave though for the last few years I’ve been exclusively with Samhain. I’m spreading my wings for 2011 – I’ll have an erotic contemporary paranormal coming out with Loose Id (sexy fallen angels who are tattoo artists! Yum!) in April and a hot historical novella out with Carina Press in June (the first of what I’d like to call my Merry Widows series). I’m both excited and nervous about these upcoming releases…

On a personal note I live in central California in the foothills below Yosemite. I’m married and we have three children (16, 7 & 6), three cats, one dog, five chickens, a (mean) rooster and two wild turkeys who’ve decided living with the chickens is a good deal (safety! free food!). So if you hear me talk about the two coyotes who won’t stop coming around or the raccoons who keep eating my cats’ food, well, I live in the country. It’s kinda crazy around these parts. LOL

Can I tell you about my new print book out today? Playing With Fire features two stories originally released in ebook format from Samhain – Forbidden and Tangled. Here’s blurbage:

Forbidden
Michaela thinks her attraction toward her bisexual roommate is futile but Austin is most definitely interested. The chemistry between them is too strong to deny and soon they’re indulging in a scorching-hot affair. Michaela trusts him enough to share her darkest fantasy but is Austin willing to share?

Tangled
Scarlett’s always wanted what she can’t have. Her crush Drake isn’t interested, he’s hot for Trevor. But the gorgeous Trevor wants her. Taking him up on his offer, one night with Trevor ends up being the hottest sex of Scarlett’s life. Inviting Drake into the picture only makes it hotter. Now Trevor’s not so sure he wants to share…

Oh yes, this is a smokin’ hot book – I really love these two stories. And I’m giving away a copy of Playing With Fire TODAY to one lucky commenter (Limited to US residents only please) along with some chocolate body paint! Naughty naughty…and delicious!

I also have a hot little short story available on Amazon Kindle – A Very Sexy Christmas. At 99 cents, it’s a bargain!

Dumped by her loser boyfriend and attacked by a wayward Christmas figurine, stressed out Claire is knocked unconscious one night while decorating her apartment. Next thing she knows she’s in bed with a gorgeous, sexy man–one who offers to fulfill her every sexual desire. And she’s not about to turn him down.

She wakes up the next morning to discover it was all a dream. Or was it? Disappointed, Claire decides to lose the Scrooge attitude and embrace her inner holiday spirit. And just maybe all her Christmas dreams will come true…

I have one more release before 2010 leaves us forever. It’s the second novella in my Fated series – Baby, Don’t Lose My Number, coming December 21st from Samhain:

Never press the “ignore” button on love…

Fated, Book 2

In these uncertain times, Mia Skinner’s Blackberry is her lifeline to independence…and a twenty-four/seven chain to her overbearing boss. When she loses it on a girls’ night out, it’s a disaster with pink slip written all over it—until she takes a chance and calls her number. And ends up talking to Mr. Sexiest-Voice-Alive.

The moment Jacob Miller lays eyes on the phone’s beautiful owner, a bolt of lust makes him want to make a sexy mess of her tidy outfit and perfectly straight hair. Which is a good sign. It means he’s almost fully recovered from a near-debilitating construction accident. Perhaps a little horizontal healing will get him back on his feet for good.

As their passion burns bright and hot, a funny thing happens. Mia’s ignoring her phone—and Jake’s the one itching to get back to work. But he’s building a plan that’ll let her hang up on her increasingly creepy boss for good. If Mia’s willing to meet him in the middle.
You can find my website here. Join me on Facebook or sign up for my newsletter!

Okay, whew, I feel like I just rambled on and on but I had a lot to share! Don’t forget to leave a comment – someone will win a copy of Playing With Fire and sexy dice! Ooh, la la.

Now let’s discuss what we want for Christmas. Besides jewels and furs (this is my standard answer to my husband every year when he asks – though I really don’t want a fur unless it’s faux), what I really, really want for Christmas is…an iPad. Oh man I want one I want one I want one! Hopefully Santa comes through for me.

What do YOU want? And hey if you have any questions for me please don’t hesitate to ask! I’m here at your mercy today! But be kind…or naughty. Let your mood guide you…heh heh.

Okay, first I have to say that Viv is a big old fibber. I do not let other girls tie me up. Soooo not my style. The other Smuts though, they might be into that kind of thing…

Anyway, on to the winners! Thanks to everyone who entered, and here are the six we’ve picked!

Sandie
Leagh
Milinda
Zina
Kris M.
Kelly Thrash

Congrats to the winners! Here’s what you have to do to claim your prize. Email vivarend @ gmail.com (no spaces) and let her know a) which file format you want for your ebook, and b) which one of these titles you want as your prize:

Turn It On
Raising the Stakes
Falling, Freestyle
No Angel
Freeze Line
Tangled Tinsel