RG The Smutty V-Day Cupid: We celebrate love of one variety or another every day here on Smutketeers, so you knew we would jump at any excuse. Valentine’s Day gives one to us in a shiny, heart-shaped box of goodness way.
As you all know, the word Valentine comes from the latin for 1. “to diddle” 2. “to eat chocolate while naked” or 3. “To eat chocolate off of someone naked before you diddle” Saint ToDiddle, who later changed his name so as not to be confused with The Patron Saint of Art, ToDoodle, taught the world that love is really all we need. He showed the people of his day by example using jell-o and a form of dance very similar in style to the electric slide. There is also a little known tradition that marks this day–the precursor of the 3 am booty call and the short, no foreplay form of sexting–the dirty love letter.
This is the tradition we honor here today in our Dirty Love Letter Contest. All weekend long, we want to spread the love. The dirty love (just a little dirty) Read the blog, then post your own mini love letter to any one of the heroes written by us: Crystal Jordan, Lilli Feisty, Eden Bradley/Eve Berlin, Karen Erickson and R.G. Alexander. (on the off chance you haven’t read any of us…you can make something up, we don’t handle rejection well lol)
The winner, who we’ll announce on Tuesday, will receive this beautiful steampunky necklace:
Here-we’ll start you out :)
I think you’re overlooked when it comes to my lineup of heroes and I want to rectify that by focusing on you today. Not that I feel sorry for you, oh no. You are a man who knows how to hold your own. Cocky and confident and sexy and dominant (I’m a poet!), the ladies and the men don’t stand a chance.
But your heart belongs to Scarlett. You’ll do anything to make her happy—and to make her yours. Did I mention how sexy I think that is?
Yes, my dearest Trevor, I think you’re very, very sexy. But ssh, don’t tell Scarlett. She might kick my ass.
Love & kisses,
Though I realize that Jain would probably kill me for writing a love letter to you, I have to confess that you’ll always be my favorite. You were my first shapeshifter hero, and you never really forget your first, do you?
Not only were you the first shifter I ever wrote, but you were also the story that got me into a New York publishing house. For that alone, you have my undying adoration. But how can I forget the way you started me down this road to shifter depravity? I was shocked when you insisted on having anal sex with your heroine against the side of a mountain. Little did I know that this was only the beginning and such exploits would seem tame as I continued writing smutty shifters. I had no idea then that I would one day write threesomes and foursomes of every imaginable gender combination.
Yes, Kesuk, I owe it all to you for starting me down this slippery slope of filth and naughtiness. Thank you.
All My Love,
I love Damon from Lifting the Veil because he was my first love, my first hero. Lux from Lux in Shadow because he was tortured. Saint…well because he was a f&*#ing demon :)…but you…you top them all. You snuck into my mind and tricked me. I thought you were just a sexual creature, something to be enjoyed but never understood. And you were sexy, but you were so much more. Funny, complicated, trouble making in the best kind of way. You took me places I’d never imagined going…and you made me love it.
I know I could never compete with Bethany in your heart. After all, you’ve loved her for lifetimes. But I will still look for you, look into those glowing amber eyes and wish, secretly, that I could be the one to say, “I want you Bone Daddy.” Because…and don’t tell my husband…I do.
Yours in lust,
ADDITION!! We have a winner of the necklace-DANA M
However, due to her incredibly thorough and beautifully written love letters to so many of the Smutketeers heroes…we had to add a little prize for 2nd place to ******* IVELISSE!!!
Enthusiasm definitely counts :)
Congratulations to both of you!!