Smutketeers

Here’s what it’s about:

Centuries after the destruction of earth, several species of altered humans still survive. These shape-shifters are exciting and exotic creatures, and their human forms do little to mask their most primitive and passionate instincts…

IN HEAT
Mahlia is a snow tigress in heat and now that her tiger king has returned to rule the planet Vesperi, she can no longer deny her desperate need to mate. She greets him as a woman, but their desire for sex is uncontrollable as they come together with a primal passion.

IN SMOKE
When Lady Katryn is called back to her home world to join Lord Nadir’s harim, she is curious to learn more about her weredragon nature. What she discovers is a scorching eroticism that consumes her all over.

IN MIST
Dr. Sera Gibbons is one of only two human survivors after a five hundred year cryogenic freeze. Save by the merman Bretton Hahn, she savors the way her caresses her and makes her live out her wildest fantasies.

And if you want to get it online rather than going to a brick-and-mortar store, here’s how:

Amazon.com
Barnes & Noble
Chapters.ca

Somehow, I think I’ll still be the least kinky Smutketeer.

Yeah, I know.

It’s shocking.

Appalling, even.

And, still, I’m gonna guess I’m the least kinked out, least pervy, most innocent Smutketeer at my measly 75% kink level.

Just sayin’

(As a side note: I hope they don’t throw me out of the group for not being smutty enough.)

You Are 75% Kinky

If you’ve heard of it, you’ve tried it. You’re that kinky. You’re open to any and all sexual experiences, as long as they’re safe. You see the bedroom as the primary place for all your adventures. But that’s not to say that the bedroom is the only place you get kinky!

I ran across an article over on EW.com by Stephen King called Who Says Real Men Don’t Read?

Being a female and writer, I like that the market seems to be open to females, which it really wasn’t even twenty or thirty years ago, but I also don’t like the imbalance either way. As a librarian, I want boys to read as much as girls. Then again, it’s kind of obvious they misinterpret the romance/ women’s fiction market (nothing new there). Anyway…thoughts? Weigh in!

Here’s the text:

If you catch publishing types in a ”don’t quote me” mood, they’ll tell you the male audience for fiction is disappearing. Agents and editors are constantly on the lookout for the next hot female writer, and why not? At the end of August, 7 of the 10 New York Times hardcover fiction bestsellers were by women, and that doesn’t even include Stephenie Meyer’s mega-selling Breaking Dawn (which the Times considers kid lit, thus not meriting a place on the adult list).

But, to misquote Mark Twain, reports of the male reader’s death have been greatly exaggerated. Women have chick lit; guys have what my son Joe (as in Joe Hill) calls ”manfiction.” And publishers sell it by the ton. Here’s a concept so simple it’s easy to miss: What men want from an Elmore Leonard novel is exactly what women want from a Nora Roberts novel — escape and entertainment. And while it’s true that manfiction can be guilty of objectifying women, chick lit often does the same thing to men. Reading Sandra Brown or Jodi Picoult, I’m sometimes reminded of an old Julie Brown song, ”I Like ‘Em Big and Stupid.” One memorable couplet goes, ”My father’s out of Harvard, my brother’s out of Yale/Well, the guy I took home last night just got out of jail.”

Is this a bad thing? From an entertainment standpoint, I’d say not. Women like stories in which a gal meets a handsome (and possibly dangerous) hunk on a tropic isle; men like to imagine going to war against an army of bad guys with a Beretta, a blowtorch, and a submachine gun (grenades hung on the belt optional).

And current manfiction certainly gives women a better deal than they got in the pulps of yesteryear, when most were presented as barracuda debs in frilly negligees. Robert B. Parker, who chronicles the hard-bitten exploits of that manfiction avatar Spenser (no first name), is also the creator of Sunny Randall, a PI who has had her own hard-bitten exploits. And while it’s easy to become exasperated with Spenser’s longtime partner, Susan Silverman, sooner or later Spenser and his pal Hawk always spring into action. Often with a .38 or a .12-gauge shotgun.

Alex Delaware, Jonathan Kellerman’s entry in the manfiction sweeps, also has a longtime female companion. Robin Castagna is less annoying than the navel-gazing Ms. Silverman, but both need rescuing from time to time, and saving the damsel in distress has been a satisfying part of good manfiction since the days of old when knights were bold and ladies fair went without their underwear. Also, Alex has a gay sidekick, Milo Sturgis. If that doesn’t make him a 21st-century dude, what does?

The fathers of modern manfiction would be Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, and John D. MacDonald, creator of the world’s first boat-bum PI. MacDonald’s Travis McGee ruled the best-seller lists during the years when reading Playboy was still cool, and may have been the first continuing male character to see women as people rather than just as potential bed partners. Not that Travis was any slouch in bed; he specialized in a form of sexual healing mortal men (such as your faithful correspondent) could only admire. In the 21 McGee novels, the guy must have sexually healed over 200 women. Take that, Dr. Laura!

The best current manfiction writers? I’d say Michael Connelly, Robert Crais, Richard Stark, and Lee Child. Connelly’s Harry Bosch is a dogged cop who takes on the LAPD power structure as often as the bad guys. His current girlfriend, a very liberated woman, is an FBI agent. Crais’ creations — Elvis Cole and Joe Pike — are as tough as the combat boots they used to wear. Richard Stark’s Parker (also no other name) is refreshingly amoral, a thief who always gets away with the swag. In the series’ most recent books he has gained a little warmth thanks to Claire, his own longtime companion.

I saved the best for last. Lee Child’s tough but humane Jack Reacher is the coolest continuing series character now on offer. Reacher has also rescued his share of damsels in distress. He wanders the U.S., sometimes hitchhiking, more often riding buses. He dresses in cheap workingman’s duds bought in chain stores, pays cash, and (this is the part I really love) he used to carry only a toothbrush for luggage. He satisfies the most elemental male daydream, which is at bottom quite sweet: to ramble around and help out when help is needed. Possibly with a Beretta, a blowtorch, and a submachine gun.

Grenades optional.

I have to say, I rarely point at other people and say it’s their fault I am the way I am. True, they may have been a putz, but I’m responsible for how I let it affect me.

In this case, I’m making an exception.

I’m talking about what made me try my hand at the smuttiest of smut kind of writing. Yes, in this case, I blame Eden (though not because she was a putz, of course).

Until I met her, I’d never read anything dirty other than The Sleeping Beauty series. Now, what haven’t I read? Moreover, what haven’t I written?

It really was a series of unfortunate events. I started out writing comedy. Paranormal chick lit. There wasn’t even much in the way of sex. And then I started talking to Eden on the phone. Listening to her talk about her writing made me try my hand at it. She was the corrupting influence that lead to all manner of perversions on my part.

And don’t think Feisty and R.G. are blameless–they encourage me to greater levels of depravity.

It’s quite sad, actually. I’m doomed!

In any case, I had to get that off my chest and make sure you all know, when it doubt: It’s All Eden’s Fault.

Yes, I know…I’m a day late announcing the winners. Don’t worry, the other Smutketeers will find suitable ways to punish me! (No, Feisty, you may not video record that!)

Without further ado, since I’ve kept you in anticipation so long, here are the winners:

Eden’s winners:

Email eden_bradley @ yahoo.com (no spaces) to claim your prize!

Jambrea
Chris Roberts
Deidre

RG’s winners:

Email r.g.alexander @ hotmail.com (no spaces) to claim your prize!

Ms. Priss
Deidre
Sandie

Crystal’s winners:

Email crystal @ crystaljordan.com (no spaces) to claim your prize!

Deidre
Vivienne Westlake
Lindsey Ekland

Feisty’s winners:

Email lilli @ lillianfeisty.com (no spaces) to claim your prize!

Deidre
Melissa Blue
Leigh Royals

So, for participating in all our contests, we decided that Deidre should make out like a bandit. Congrats to all our winners!

Dearest Readers,

A matter of utmost importance has come to my attention. I, the wicked scholar of the smutty menagerie, do beg humbly your assistance. A bit of research is required, but the rewards are more than worth the cost. You see, kind readers, I’m in dire need of help.

I won’t be coy…I’ve spent long years studying the topic thoroughly, and what I require are new specimens for my research. Hard pecs, smooth muscles, the sweetest curve of a masculine backside. Oh, yes. That will be my fee for entry into the day’s contest.

As the Smutketeer’s flying fortress is quite well hidden, and even my longing for the male posterior can’t get in the way of security–and our latest mission to save the world–a picture will suffice. Place a link to the portrait of your choosing in the comments, and I’ll select the finest specimen. The darling reader who provides for my ongoing research will be amply rewarded, you have my most honorable word on the matter. I am a Smutketeer, after all.

Ever Wickedly Yours,

Welcome to the new online home of the Smutketeers: Crystal, R.G., Eden, and Feisty!

We are a very naughty group of romance and erotica writers who occasionally get together, dress up in wild costumes, and make our men drag props out into the desert for photoshoots. If we look that hot, there must be photographic evidence of the event, don’t you think?

We certainly did.

If you’d like to see more of the pictures we took that didn’t make it into our avatars or the header of our website, check out the Gallery link in the Navigation area on the sidebar. You’ll also find some funny and endearing (well, we are very cute and endearing, aren’t we?) behind the scenes footage.

The Steampunk theme of our site is the brainchild of R.G. Alexander. She loved the idea of a group website done in that style, and since Feisty and I both have ideas brewing for that genre, we were hooked. Eden tends to write mostly contemporary work, but anything that lets her wear a costume and allows her to whip out her inner artsy geek, and she’s usually on board.

Plus, who could resist R.G.? Have you seen her puppy dog eyes?

We enlisted the aid of the fantastic web designer, Croco Designs, to bring this idea to life. She did a wonderful job for us. We love it!

She even gave us some images to link back to our site. Feel free to use them to link to us!

We have our sidebar icon.

AND static and animated banners.